17 May 2011

One Last Dear Donald

Oh, Donald, no. You’re kidding, right? You are NOT going to run for President of the United States? Really, not? Just as we were starting to get used to the idea? And after all that you put us through? Come on, tell the truth now - were you just foolin’ with us? Toying with the notion of leading the American people to shore up your ratings? Seems a bit extreme as efforts go.

And you were doing so well in the polls! Why, you say so yourself! So what if you’re the only one saying it, this is your story, Donny, you’s the man! It’s one thing not running if you believe you haven’t a prayer of winning, and quite another if you (and I quote) ‘maintain the strong conviction (you) would win the general election.’ Then it doesn’t make any sense. Because if you really think you can win and succeed in fixing our country’s problems, well, most Americans would probably be willing to sacrifice another season of Celebrity Apprentice for that.

Donald, I simply have to ask: is all this because Seth Meyers made fun of you at the Correspondent’s Dinner?  Because, you know - he was just being a big bully – one I believe you said ‘stutters.’ Of course, it’s not easy being made fun of (although with your hairstyle one would think you’d be used to it.) And you did start it, so you kind of got what was coming to you. But look at the positive – look how you showed the nation what a good sport you were that night, glowering right back at Seth and even the President without so much as cracking a smile. In fact, in those few moments you almost conveyed the gravitas that Karl Rove so rightly accused you reality TV stars of lacking. But then, of course, he was talking about Sarah Palin when he said that, not you.  Here’s a thought – one you’d never guess would come from me – perhaps Rove is right here, maybe most Americans don’t want TV star politicians as leaders. Maybe, just maybe, Americans want a little bit more.

But the reason I’m writing one last time is not to thank you for all the blog hits, it’s because I’m confused. By your official statement more than by your decision, which truth be told, isn’t all that much of a surprise. It’s rather that nowhere in ending this rigmarole do you take credit for your signature achievement.  Sure, you say “My ability to bring important economic and foreign policy issues to the forefront of the national dialogue is perhaps my greatest asset and one of the most valuable services I can provide to this country.” Donald, I can guarantee you that isn’t it. The issue to be forever associated with you in this very entertaining mockery of a presidential-run-that-wasn’t, is not economic and foreign policy – it’s Obama’s birth certificate. Funny, you didn’t mention that contribution even once – so uncharacteristically modest of you.  But don’t worry. You might think it would fade after enjoying its 15 minutes, but in this case you drove it home so incessantly that we will never forget. Sure, now Obama is the big hero who got the bad guy. Sure, the majority of Americans now actually want to claim him as our own, but the fact that we know, know in our heart of hearts he was born in Hawaii - that has something to do with you. Or maybe not.

Anyway, Donald, all the best.

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